A few months ago at church one of the speakers mentioned the idea of ‘knowing people’ and feeling understood/known. The speaker suggested that beyond our ‘love languages’ there are small things that strike each of us on a personal level and make us feel loved, important and thought of. I’ve had this thought several times before and definitely realized a few things/acts/etc that are always meaningful to me—and over the last several months I’ve made more of an effort to find out what these ‘little love languages’ are for the people who are important in my life.
This idea came to the forefront again on Wednesday this week. I was at home, avoiding the flu and feeling icky. When I talked with Renee earlier in the day I had mentioned that I was home, and feeling pooorly. She had to go but chirped a quick, “I’ll bring you something later,” before she hopped off the phone. Later that evening she surprised me (and even more effectively because I was on the phone in the kitchen with my back turned when she came into my appartment—the front screen was open to let in some air—so I physically jumped when I saw her!). Renee brought me some delicious Chicken Noodle Soup (from Whole Foods Deli I think)and bright cheery sun flowers! This made my heart SO happy. Seeing my friend would have made my heart happy in just that alone, but she then brought me food, and flowers AND a new friend to meet (who happened to be crusing around with her)! The more I reflect on this the more I find it funny that what would appear to be an ‘act of service’ is what was so profound and touching for me. Generally speaking, I am NOT an ‘acts of service’ or ‘gifts’ person. I am more of a ‘words of affirmation’ and very specific ‘quality time’ person. But my little love languages (food and flowers), the things that make me feel the most understood or paid attention to do not coincide with my two bigger love languages. Hm.
So in the last few weeks I’ve learned the following:
Renee IS an acts of service person. I made her a grilled cheese sandwhich when she came over to hang out and work on a monologue one day after work. But what’s funny to ME (because of the things that I like) is that it wasn’t necessarily the food that was the gift in her mind. The way I understand it, the way she explained it, it was the act of me not only making the sandwhich, but also plating it, cutting it in triangles and getting her a glass or water and putting all of that in front of her on the table that was the gift. Interesting…Whereas I am more interested in the actual FOOD :).
Last night I asked my Momma what HER little love languages are and she said : food and personalized cards…She also later added on personalized emails and texts to that last part about cards. It is nice getting notes from people about how you’ve impacted their lives. But it’s also nice to just get that text that says “I love you! Was thinking about you today and wanted to say ‘hi.’ ” Or sometimes with my brother, our texts just say “hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!” and “hellllllllowwww” 🙂
Alice loves salsa. Any salsa. But especially extra spicy salsa. I LOVE that. She’s told me before about how when she goes to a mexican restaurant she’ll just eat chips and salsa for a meal. I really want to see this!
All this post is just after then is finding out more about my friends. What special or funny or weird things make YOU the happiest? Chewing gum? A new book? A gift card to your favorite store? A hug?
What are YOUR little love languages?